i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
