We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
