On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
