I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize