she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
