ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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