p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
