New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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