We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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