Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
