She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
