i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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