you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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