i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
