dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
