I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
