She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
