like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
