we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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