i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
