hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize