Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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