please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
