Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Welp...herpes.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
