yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
