i just snorted my name. best moment ever
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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