Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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