You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
