How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
