if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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