ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
