Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Randomize
