I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
