i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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