He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
