Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
