Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
