Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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