Don't you send me to vm
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
