my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
