i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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