I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
