Slut skills are useful in every country.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
