I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Who died my cat blue again?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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