Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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