All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
