youre lurking in front of me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
