Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
