This girl is more easily done than said...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
