He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Pants are for mortals
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
