1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
