i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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