**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize