So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
