i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
