I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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