If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
