Don't you send me to vm
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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