The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
