you win again, gameday.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
