Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
