i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
