Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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