Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
