Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
